Do you really suck at music? Or does your songs that you create sound like a stupid Nickleback song? When you open your piehole of yours and you sound like a dying cat? Just give me a message after you read more of my pure awesome writing.
I can teach guitar. If you have sausage fingers, sorry I can’t help you there, but maybe you should stop eating those twinkies (or maybe you just have bad genes that give you fat fingers, it’s okay, the world needs people who are beautiful on the inside).
I can teach piano. If you don’t have any talent, that’s okay, let’s just hope you have good looks so that talent part isn’t too necessary.
Is your game really bad? Every girl or boy doesn’t even notice you. It’s okay if you were a socially awkward kid, it’s not your fault your parents suck at parenting. Don’t worry because there is hope. Go out and buy a keyboard or a guitar and give me a message, because I can make you an awesome musician in 10 years. My only requirement is my students have to pay for ten years worth of lessons before we start and I charge $200 dollars a lesson every week. There’s 52 weeks in a year, and we’ll multiply that by ten years. So, that comes out to $104,000.00 dollars. What the heck… I’m feeling generous, let’s make it an even $100k, okay? Okay.
I can’t wait to hear from you.
From a 100% pure awesome guy who can shred on the guitar and piano.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers